Monkey crotch for all!

So I am two days into this organic cleanse that involves eating a rice dish made with moong beans (pronounced "mung," sounds like dung [for a reason]), some kind of spiced tea that tastes like monkey crotch and apples. This thing is supposed to last for seven days, and so far every indication points toward me not being able to do it (also giving me one more fucking reason I never want to visit India).

Of course, I'd imagine the Indian folks I know would be pretty offended to have this associated with them. It's more like an Indian-inspired weight loss tactic with a bunch of spiritual horse shit padding it the same way Micheal Bay is padded in bad movies. It's very obviously targeting white people who want to live a "healthier lifestyle," but to be honest, I don't know how much this will benefit me since I feel like 90% of this stuff is crap to begin with. I mean, I get the science behind it - me drinking a pot of coffee a day and subsisting on preservatives and grease isn't good, and anything to help me break those habits is good, but I think my doshas will be fine without a few gallons of jock strap sweat and twigs.

I am not a spiritual person. I don't sign on to any major religion and steer clear of the "spiritual but not religious" lifestyle. Do I believe in supernatural things? Yes. Do I believe in a higher intelligence in the universe? Well if it invented dinosaurs then maybe less than intelligent, but since it invented the platypus, it might not be smart but it sure is awesome. Do I believe in a mythic father figure up in the clouds who wrote a book about how to die right and punishes the wicked and rewards the righteous in the afterlife? No. Not at all. And not in any sense, since Eastern religious are basically a variation on the theme rather than a different way of seeing things. It's still a social institution that puts man at odds with nature rather than accepting that man is part of nature and all of the natural stuff we do maybe isn't so bad (everyone else is doin' it man).

So for now the cleanse continues, though the only thing it may be cleaning out of my body and mind is my sanity.

Positive note: one week without coffee, first day without a headache.

Progress?