Not so angry at Lowes

Lowes recently pulled its advertising from a Learning Channel docu-series called "All-American Muslim," which sounds a bit like real housewives only with brown people, 94.5% fewer fake boobies and in the middle of nowhere. Also the show is actually about something.

The decision comes after a massive backlash from what I can only assume is the typical Lowes customer: a racist paranoid closeted mass-murderer. Red-blooded Americans across the country began boycotting Lowes stores, and the homegoods giant had to do something to appease the teeming masses, lest is not be able to plant its blue and white flag and break ground next to every motherfucking Home Depot in the motherfucking country. The humanity! Absolom! Motherfucker!

But this decision doesn't bother me so much, and it speaks to a somewhat larger issue in business, politics, and how us common mortals should form our opinions about our betters. Lowes is just doing good business to keep the profits high, and you can't really blame an overpriced retail store for doing everything in its power to retain customers. It just so happens that those customers are a bunch of racist, paranoid closeted mass-murderers.

But it isn't the principal that is disturbing here: it's the sheer lack of principal. Gone are the days when the insert of a Nirvana album would read, "If you're a racist, sexist or bigot, don't buy this album because we don't want your money." Now anything goes, and the people most likely to rob your store and shoot you because you're a different color than them are just more potential customers. It's this complete lack of principal that has defined career dick-suckers like Rick Perry or, most disappointingly, the president - standing up for nothing on their own, but standing for anything you want if the price tag is right. This is pretty much the modern American business model, with the noted exception of Chick-Fil-A.

Point is, if you really want this to stop, don't boycott the bastards in support of racism; boycott them because of racism. Don't shop at Lowes and make sure they know it's because they will help validate a mass of people who want to murder half of the entire fucking planet, and who think that learning is the deadly eighth goddamn sin. Eventually the racist, paranoid closeted mass murderers will come around, 'cause let's face it, where the else are you going to get drywall nails at a 400% markup at 7AM on a Christmas fucking day?